A miscarriage can be the most difficult time in a person’s life, let alone their marriage. It can really take a toll on your mental health to lose a child before you even get to meet them. We wanted to give you a few ways to cope with miscarriage, should you ever need them.
Immediately After the Miscarriage
Directly after the miscarriage is the time to recognize the pain and trauma of the miscarriage itself and a time to reach out to those around you for support.
1. Acknowledge the passing.
This is incredibly important – you want to take time out of your life to grieve, instead of spending time avoiding the issue. Ignoring the issue will only make it hurt more and longer. The loss of a baby does not make you any less a mother, or an early loss count less to your motherhood.
2. Reach out to others.
Your friends and family might have a hard time hearing it, but will at least understand your feelings. People can’t cut you slack unless they know that you’re in need of it, and they can’t give compassion unless they know, as well.
You need friends around you that you can trust and will be respectful of your feelings, and now is the time to get in contact. It would be best if these friends in particular are women, for as sympathetic as a man can be, a woman will understand in a completely different manner.
Following the Miscarriage
After the immediate loss and the time after it, it comes time to help your partner cope and deal with what guilt you may feel.
3. Help your partner cope.
Your partner may be dealing with the miscarriage in a completely different way from you. There isn’t any one way to deal with the grief of a miscarriage, after all. If you find yourself getting upset that your partner doesn’t look as depressed as you, remember that they are probably dealing with it in a much different way.
4. Deal with any guilt you feel.
This is probably one of the most important things to do after a miscarriage. You did not cause your miscarriage – it happened to you, not because of you. Try taking a step back from the situation and try to treat yourself with the same compassion as those you love who could be going through this situation.
Once you’ve dealt with all of the preceding issues, now is the time to get closure and – if you’re up to it – try again.
5. Time to get closure.
It can be tough to move on after a miscarriage, and usually there’s an event of some sort that pushes you out of the mourning phase. It takes closure, though. Getting closure looks different for everyone, and you could do anything you need to get it. So give yourself permission to do what you need.
6. Trying again.
This is the time to stay on the same page with your partner. The time between your miscarriage and trying again depends entirely on your physical and emotional factors. From a psychological perspective, there’s no particular length of time to wait, so if you feel terribly vulnerable, it means you still need to process.
Miscarriages Are A Tough Time
The loss of an unborn child that you were hoping to bring into the world is a trying time. If you need any help during this time, we here at the OB-GYN Associates of Western New York are available to help.